Slapead's Stuff

The Brits seem to specialise in these harmless little movies. I assume they get some form of government grants for them. Deep down I guess they all want the next Four Weddings and a Funeral. This isn't it.

The basic plot is simple and silly. A weddings magazine has a competition for the most unusual themed wedding. This leads to the cliched scene of people entering and exiting interviews at high speed. However it does highlight that Jimmy Carr might be better off doing acting rather than stand-up. This one-trick pony needs to find a new gig soon. Lee Evans managed it.

The three couples selected are a pair of naturists, a "nice" couple who want a Hollywood musical style wedding and a pair of ultra-competitive tennis players who want....well you can guess what they want.

Cardboard cut-out gay wedding organisers are wheeled in and the "documentary" follows them all around as the arrangements progress. Lots of amusing one-liners but nothing to make you laugh out loud. Of course they decide the naturists must be dressed and the tennis players have racquets in their clothes.

About the only vaguely controversial thing in the movie is the full frontal nudity of the naturists. The scene of the guy cycling is indelibly burned in my shudder-memory.

If you end up watching this on a plane or you are bored some evening (as I was) you won't mind wasting 90 minutes or so. 

I have found the entire series of Spiderman movies utterly forgettable and this adds to that continuum. I wonder if the problem is Mr Bland, Toby Maguire or Miss Insipid, Kirsten Dunst? Or is it the lack of anything to care about?

The constant self-pity of everyone from hero to villain in these movies really makes them unwatchable for any extended period of time. Poor Peter, poor MJ, poor Harry, poor Sandman. Ah shuddup already. There are occasions where you hope MJ gets it in the neck just to wake the movie up a bit.

The black alien thing which amplifies aggression was done pretty well, particularly the bit in the bell tower. And the web of it holding the truck above MJ was enjoyable; "please fall on her, please".

The low point was casting the awesome Bruce Campbell as a fake French Maitre d' for the "comedy" section. Do yerself a favour, skip this movie and go rent a copy of Evil Dead II on DVD instead.

I watched the first Fantastic Four movie and it really did nothing for me. I had been looking forward to it since I loved the comic as a kid. The movie just felt low-budget with mediocre actors, no real plot and average CGI.

I watched the second one since I had nothing better to do. It is no better than the first. Both movies lack any sense of excitement or build-up of tension. The Four themselves are cardboard cutouts and the Silver Surfer is one of the least interesting characters ever in a comic-based movie.

Plotline is thin. This Silver Surfer character appears causing chaos, freezing and giant potholes wherever he goes. The FF try to catch him and at the same time, Victor Von Doom is released from his chamber-prison and tries to meet up with him.

It turns out that he is the advance party for some planet destroying entity and he is blackmailed into prepping the planets to avoid his own being destroyed. You can guess what happens in the end.

All through this there is a terrible plot about two of the FF getting married. Jessica Alba has never looked worse which is a pity since she can't act to save her life.

You just know they are going to make another one of these since they are so cheap to make and presumably turn a profit with DVD sales.

Yawn, avoid. 

Another light-hearted movie from Simon Pegg with a roll-call of famous British actors in every nook and cranny. The plot is threadbare. Pegg plays Nick Angel, the most effective cop in London. 400% better than anyone else. The powers that be ship him off to a sleepy town as a sergeant to stop him making everyone else look bad.

The town bit by bit reveals itself to have dark secrets. People keep dying in accidents. His partner who is completely stupid is played brilliantly by Nick Frost.

The thing rollicks along with tons of great one liners and set pieces. Nothing remotely challenging for any viewer. Plenty of laughs all the way through.

The climax is a giggle with lots of nods to Bad Boys and Point Break. 

They are not getting an Oscar for this one but you'll enjoy yourself.